.. Tuesday Night ..

Michelle Branch has a wicked song called Tuesday Morning on her Motel Paper Album. I've really got to rip that one onto my iPod. Maybe I'll do that tonight.

right now I'm scanning midterms from statistics to keep just in case. Tedious and Time consuming, but better to keep a copy and not need it, than not keep one and need it after all. Besides, I did well on them, so looking at them might give me warm and fuzzy's when I'm feeling low about myself sometime. Or not. But whatever. lol.

The weather dude is calling for another snow storm on Thursday. Why do the storms always happen on Monday's and Thursday's? That means there's no point in bussing all the way home on Monday's because it would take 4 hours, and that I am late getting picked up from Nathan on Thursday's, because it takes so bloody long just to get back to Pickering! It was -22 degress this morning. Isn't that ridiculous? MINUS TWENTY TWO DEGREES! It's supposed to be getting warmer at the end of February, not colder. At least it's not supposed to be too bad tomorrow. And there's no snow in the forecast either. So I'll get home faster and get to work faster too. riiiiight :P

well, I'm on my last page of my midterm photocopying, so I guess it is time to go and dig out that Michelle branch CD so I can get to bed. Maybe more tomorrow afternoon.

.. bad girl ..

You know, I really have no dedication when it comes to doing work. There's always something more fun that I could be doing, and therefore that I do instead. Writing in this blog for example. Maybe I'll try and be good today, and stop right now. I'll be back when I'm done my statistics homework...

.. lately i'm into ..

• Imogen Heap
• My PINK RAZR Phone
• My White iPod
• Elsie Flannigan :)
• IKEA
• twopeasinabucket.com

My group and I got 85% on our project proposal for Environmental Studies. Go Us!! We're doing a presentation on the use of nature images in advertising to perpetrate gender stereotypes. Deep I know. lol!

No school tomorrow, because it is Tuesday. So I can sleep in, and then catch up on some notes and readings. Especially for Research Methods. I think I have an exam in that class next week. Eww. It seems like we just wrote an exam in that class! Other than that, I only have one quiz, and then no more tests etc. until pretty much when finals start. I only have three finals during the exam period which is pretty wicked. My fourth one is during the last week of classes, in Research Methods [three exams in three months!! brutal!]

I went grocery shopping yesterday. I love grocery shopping, though I'm not quite sure why. I bought:

• 3 apples
• a bunch of red grapes
• sunflower seeds
• 200 g of fat free lean smoked ham
• a box of Toppables crackers
• a garlic and cheese bun
• 3 chocolate chip bagels
• 1 big green cucumber

All in all, a relatively healthy shopp. Maybe not the bagels, but hey, at least I'm eating something for breakfast :D

.. saturday ..

And so it is Saturday once again. I'm at Nathan's house, and Nathan is having a nap. He looks awfully cute when he's napping. I have to wake him up in about ten minutes and then we are going in to Oshawa, so he can take his Jepp to a Dealer there to have a look at it. Nathan wants to buy a "new" car, [ a Pontiac Grand Prix, GTP ] and wants my approval before he does anything! I told him just to buy one if he found he likes, but he said no, that I had to see it before he would buy it. I'm not sure if there will be any car there for us to look at this afternoon [ if we could even see it in this SNOW ] but the dealer wants to take a look at the Jepp since Nathan wants to trade it in. I can't say I'll miss the Jeep when it's gone. It's nice in the summer with the top down/off. but in the winter time it is SO COLD!!

I just finished doing my Linguistics Quiz on the net about fifteen minutes ago. I'm not sure how it went, but I'm pretty sure thatI did at least okay. I've gotten a few marks back in the past week or so:

• 94.375% on my statistics midterm
• 84% on my research methods midterm
• 95% on my Media Text Analysis for Environmental Studies. The prof actually took me outside the class after my exam to let me know that he thought I had done an excellent job on the assignment! That was awfully nice and unnecessary of him, but it had me beaming all the way to the bus stop!!

I'm not sure what Nathan and I will be doing tonight. Last weekend we learned how to play Texas Hold 'Em at Matt's house, but I'm not sure about tonight. I'm actually pretty good at Poker which was surprising, since I'm not a big card player. I even won the whole "pot" at the end of the night :D

Last night he went to bed and I watched some CSI shows while I did some scrapbooking sketches for some layouts I want to do. I have some photos from Kareokee at JP's that I'm itching to edit and then scrap. I want to try out some more photo's on my new printer too!! CSI is a pretty crazy show, but my favourite is Bones. I love the cast of that show, and the messages that are evident in every episode. They are different pretty much each time, but always get you pondering about life.

Time to wake up Nathan! Maybe more tomorrow!

.. two two ..

Two posts in one day! Look at me go! Bones WAS a repeat tonight, which was wicked cool, because I didn't really want to miss American Idol. I dunno If I'll be able to catch it tomorrow though - I might have to call home and ask them to record it for me. In the States they called that "TiVo"ing it. I guess in Canada we'd "PVR" it, but I dunno, lol.

Only one lecture tomorrow - Research Methods. Not my favourite, even though the prof is great. He doesn't give us any breaks though, and three hours is an awfully long time to sit still and write without a break! I keep meaning to send him an email, but so far I also keep forgetting. Mel said she'd send him an email too, so maybe if a few people send him one he might change it up and give us a break. All we need is ten minutes, lol! I wish the lecture didn't end so late either. I know 5.30 isn't exactly late, but it's still winter, and still cold at night, and walking back to Kathy's in the dark at 7.00 pm isn't at the top of my fun list!!

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One of the last entries I left here before I "vanished" was not too long after my four year anniversary with nathan. Our five year is quickly approaching. It's so hard ot believe sometimes that we've really been together for that long.

Five years

60 months

260 weeks

1826 days

one quarter of my entire life, and nearly that of his.

5 years of seeing each other nearly every day

5 years of arguing but never having a single real fight

5 years of never hanging up on one another, and only falling asleep angry at one another every so often

almost five years of "I Love you's", and exaclty five years of "I miss you's"

5 years of wondering who I might be with out him

and five years I wouldn't trade for ANYTHING...

I Love You Nathan. **muah**

.. ho hum ..

I got my statistics midterm back this afternoon. she had added it wrong when it was handed back, and said that I got 67.5/80. it was SOO disappointed, but it turns out I got 75.5/80 instead, which is wicked cool :D. So I got a 93.4% on this test, which is better than my last exam, and means I still have an A+ in Statistics. GO ME!!

I've decided that I want to get a little doggie some day. A weiner dog to be exact. They are super cute. Nathan keeps objecting, which isn't very cool. especially since he's convinced himself that he can have a big dog, [a really big dog, and he knows that I don't like big dogs a whole lot]. Oh well, I'll win him over some day. Who could say no to a cutie pie like this?? I mean come on!! A puppy that fits in a hot dog bun is a winner in my books, that's for sure :D

I have a dilemma tonight. Bones AND American Idol are on at the same time. I'm hoping Bones is a repeat, but if it's not, I think I'll watch it anyways. I love that show!! The cast is so funny :)

I'm about half done summarizing my notes for Linguistics. I should get at least half of what is left done tonight, and then the rest of it tomorrow or Friday when I get home from work. Work...Eww. I guess I should go get started!

.. wowzers ..

Holy Cow!! I totally just figured out how brushes work in Photoshop! This could be a dangerous thing :D I was getting sooo frustrated because nothing would save, and I couldn't change colours, but I must have been doing something wrong, because all of a sudden, everything started working!! YAY!!
I know this is nothing special, but this is the first file I made that worked out successfully.

This is a photo of Nathan and I that is about a year and a half old. since I got it back from the developer, it has been and still is one of my favourites.

I've done absolutely no school work today. That's my next task. I wrote yesterday's exam, and I think it went well. It was both easier and harder than I had anticipated. There wasn't as much on it as I had expected, but the multiple choice questions were awfully specific. That was disappointing, because he made it seem like they wouldn't be. I have a linguistics quiz to do on the internet this weekend, so i need to get caught up on all my readings and my notes so I can do well on that.

I said on Saturday that I'm not sure I care about falling behind. I'm not sure why I said that. Of course I care. Of course I worry about not doing well. About not getting this scholarhsip renewed next year. I don't know if I can even afford to geo to school next year if I don't have this scholarship.

Of course I still care...

.. home again ..

Saturday afternoon. Home. Nathan at the gym, and Daddy eating tostio's and salsa while he watches the speed skating. Little brother and his buddy being boys upstairs. And me. Sitting in the chair and not being able to straighten out my thoughts. Wondering about myself. Worrying about my exam. Thinking that I'm falling behind.

Not being sure that I care.

.. after the fact ..

And so I was wrong, and not only did he take me out for dinner, but he bought me a card, and gorgeous lillies as well!!!!

I was taking pictures last night with my spiffy camera, and then I tried out my new photo printer that Nathan bought me for Christmas/My Birthday. This one here is one of my favourite shots :)

_______________

I'm still feeling more than slightly addicted to American Idol. In fact, I'm watching last night's episode right now. Some of these people are soo GOOD, and some of them are just...not nice people. I feel bad for people like that...people that feel so bad about themselves that they have to treat other people poorly. I don't always like myself, but I try very hard not to put others down when I'm feeling down on myself.

Anyway, I'll hop down off my soap box now, lol. The flowers had irises in them as well, and this is one of the best shots of them that I got. I stuck the vase under my mum's ott light, and zoomed in really close to get all of the shots I got. Not like anyone cares, lol, but whatever.

I have an exam on monday, and I still have some reading to do [Environmental Studies, YIKES!] So I suppose I better go get started.

.. happy valentine's day ..

Happy Valentine's Day!! This is one of my favourite holidays. I'm not sure why, but it is. it has always made me feel so happy inside [except for that one when scott had just broken up with me, lol]. I think Nathan and I are going out for dinner at Pizza Hut :D Not very traditional, but very us, and I think I'd rather be that way anyways. I didn't get him a Valentine's Day card, but he won't get me one either. It kind of makes me sad. I try not to be material about things like that, but it's nice to feel super special on one special day each year.

My Gran has gone home now. She only left half and hour ago, and already I miss her. she's getting old, and everytime she leaves, I can't help but wonder if it might be the last time I get to say good-bye....Her and my granddad live in England, so we're lucky to see them once a year. She' so much fun to hang around with, and I'm so lucky that I get to see them as often as I do. My Daddy's parents live much closer, and I haven't seen them in almost five years! That's kind of embarassing to admit, but there's not a whoel lot I can do about it myself, expecially since I can't drive.

_______________________________________________

And so it is nearly halfway through reading week [spring break] and I've done almost nothing. I got an Hbc card yesterday which is neat, except that since I got ten percent off all yesterday's purchases, I bought everything for my mum and gran, and now they owe me almost three hundred d0llars! The benefits company owes me 360 dollars as well, since I just bought two new pairs of glasses [they are crazy cool]. OOh, and I bought wicked cool new shoes too, red ones, by Duff's. I wanted the pink one's, but they didn't have a size seven, and the left shoe in the size eight felt funny. I think I like the red one's better anyways though :D

*Sigh* I have tons of work to do, and I still want to scrapbook a bit today as well. Maybe I'll remember to write some more later in the week.

.. I am ..

Isn't there something just super special about music? I wish I could listen to it more often than I get to. Like when I'm writing exams - they'd be much less stressful if I could just block out the rest of the world and get lost, in music, and in myself, and in what needed to be done. I understand why we can't listen to it, because people are boneheads, and they will use any means possible to cheat [and things like ipods would make that so super easy, it's unreal]. But still, it's a thought.

I'm having trouble with myself lately. That doesn't really sound like it makes sense, but I guess that's logical, all things being equal. I'm confused byself, and confused by life. [what else is new though]. Case in point:

• I want to be take better care of myself, but I can't dedicate myself to eating healthy and exercising. I am eating BETTER though, even if not all the time
• I want to keep up to date with my school work, but it seems like lately I just can't get motivated. i'm behind in two of my four classes, and only caught up in the other two because I had midterms in then last thursday and today
• I want to be independent, but I'm having trouble dealing with being on my own.

I like to be by myself, I hate to be
alone, I'm up and I am down....

[-- Hilary Duff, I Am]

• i'm still struggling with being so emotional and so....reactive to things. I still get so angry, and overwhelmed...so upset and frustrated...so lonely and sad. I thought I'd moved on from this, that I had left this part of me in the past where it belongs, but apparently not. I don't think it's necessarily bad a person who feels and experiences things fully, but I do think it's bad to as emotional as I can be.