.. Thoughts on blogging ..

I had an online journal once. Several in fact. One my friends saw, one my boyfriend saw, and one I had that was just for me. I guess I forgot about them ... I made new friends, I accepted myself, and I spent more time talking to my boyfriend then writing him messages. That was probably over two years ago.

A lot has changed since then. I'm not in High School anymore. I don't get so sad anymore. I laugh because I want to, and I cry because I feel like it, and I just...am.

My name is Ellie. I am nineteen and a first year student at York University, studying psychology. I'm still with that boyfriend, and in 17 days we will have been together for four roller coaster years. I am pretty quiet. I know a lot of people, but have a hard time trusting them. I love to laugh, and to listen to music. I've learned it's okay to like what I want to like - I don't need to pretend to be something that I'm not, or am only a little bit. I love taking pictures, even if they aren't very good. I love to read, even though I don't have a lot of time. I love to sing, but I'm not sure I do it very well. I love to scrapbook, even though some people call me a grandma for doing it. And I think that now, I can say that I love myself.

And for me, that's saying an awful lot.